Parent scolds college-dropout daughter, Madison, for being jealous that her younger sister, Becky, gets to travel to Iceland

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  Waitress works at a restaurant.

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• There’s no easy solution to this. If you’re broke, you may only be able to afford a vacation by going into debt, and not everyone wants to take that option. Financial success can require you to take those doubles or take the 3rd shifts, perhaps take on your coworker’s unwanted shifts, and so on. You’ll get paid, and your knees will be aching at the end of every day. Over time, it’ll pay off! But there’s no denying that the days are long and arduous. 

  This parent explained some of the dynamics in their family. As they say, their eldest daughter is Madison, and the younger daughter is Becky. Madison has chosen a very different path than Becky: she dropped out of college, and chose to waitress instead. I know people who have taken that path, and it can really get them down. Some people just aren’t good at school, and they don’t like it all. But unless they enter a trade, they’re signing up for a lifetime of minimum wage jobs. It seems unfair, but unless they can hunker down and avoid failing their classes, their options will be limited. 

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  College student diligently studies for her classes.

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• Here’s how this parent explains it: 

  This has been an ongoing issue and I need some outside opinions with my oldest daughter. My oldest daughter is working as a waitress ever since she dropped out of college. She wasn’t going to classes and she GPA plummeted. The university kicked her out. 

  That’s tough. Some people just have a hard time reading. They can’t sit still, can’t focus, can’t take quizzes well. It’s just not the right path for every person.

  Due to this she doesn’t have much money to do anything. My other daughter is graduating and just got a job offer to a good company. I will call the oldest Madison and the younger, Becky. Fake names.

  Becky is going to make good money starting her job and doesn’t have any loans ( she got a full ride to her college). Madison is in debt and strugggling and this is where the help is issues stem from.

  She believes she should be going better than Becky since she is older. I have tried over and over to help her but she has turned bitter about anything that Becky achieves

  No doubt this is hard for the parent to watch!

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  College student stresses over course work.

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• Parents know this all too well. But you can have multiple kids with the same exact parents, and they will turn out 100% different. Sometimes opposites attract, but sometimes this just means that the siblings are getting on each other’s nerves all the time. 

  No doubt that Becky getting a full ride to college must’ve stung Madison. But she should try not to take it personally. Clearly, her sister worked hard to accomplish that. Colleges don’t just offer free rides to any random person. 

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  via Nicolas J Leclercq

  Northern lights in Iceland.

  _{The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.}

• Being bitter will not do anything to help Madison. Jealousy will get her absolutely nowhere. What she really needs to do is think of solutions that she could apply to her own life. But some folks don’t want solutions, they just want to whine about how their life has turned out, never trying to remedy the situation at all. It’s her life, she can do as she pleases, even if it makes 0 sense to her family. 

  Becky told us she planned on going to Iceland in the fall. It was a quick conversation but in the car ride home Madison went off. She was p-ssed that she gets to do all this cool stuff and that it wasn’t fair. She started to insult Becky and that is when I had enough.

  I told her she needs to get over jealousy and the reason her life is the way it is is her own fault. We got into an argument and she is p-ssed. My wife thinks I went too far but I think she need to hear it    

  I wonder if the parents have taken Madison and Becky on vacations in their childhood, making Madison feel entitled to more trips. It would be very kind of the parents to take Madison on a trip if they can afford it… but that might be rewarding her bad behavior, so they might have to do some deep thinking before doing so. 

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  via Lorenzo Nafissi

  Waitress serves customers at a diner.

  _{The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.}

• Commenters did not hold back when addressing this parent: 

  Live_Butterfly161

  Went too far??? Talking her the truth?? Your wife needs to stop coddling a grown a-s woman.

  NTA but check both of them

  DescriptionFew6118

  Nta. If she’s unhappy with her finances, she needs to figure out how to remedy that issue instead of bashing others. 

  Traveler691

  And a parent is the one who should be shining a light and emphasizing the issue. Friends tend to commiserate. It’s the job of a parent to tell it like it is. NTA

  EffectiveNo7681

  Look, I also failed college because I wasn't going to classes. I could blame it on the d-pression and undiagnosed ADHD, but I still know it's my own fault. I would never blame anyone else for my own failures. Your daughter needed to hear what you told her. Life doesn't care about what she thinks is and isn't fair, and it's not her sister's fault she's a failure. And the whole "she deserves to be more successful because she's older?" What is she? Four? She needs to grow up. NTA.

  ETA: By saying it was still my own fault, I mean it was my fault that I didn't do anything that would help my issues.

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  Tourist stands at the top of a waterfall in Iceland with a rainbow appearing above her.

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